Wherever This Goes
by Beckon
Summary: She wasn't ignoring the situation; she wasn't pretending that it wasn't as bad as it was... She knew well enough that his chances of surviving from this point on were low, but she was going to do whatever she had to to keep him going.


She could hear the soft splashing of the rain outside- and, by outside, she meant where the end of the hallway had been ripped off by the constant shifting force of the city. There was little more than broken rebar and cracked plaster there to shield her from the occasional cold draft that drifted in. This world was dreary enough as it was... the added rain and dark clouds only made the atmosphere worse- which seemed rather impossible to do.

She was a little surprised it was raining… weather control just didn't seem to be something that Ruvik could manipulate. Then again, this was his world, it would be naïve to think he couldn't.

After all, he had just sent their bus completely through a hotel building without so much as a blink.

Her heart was still racing.

She remembered hearing the bus creaking as it tittered over the edge of the ruined hotel floor before it finally tipped forward into the street.

She remembered watching, through the cracked windshield, as the ground rushed closer and closer to her.

The sense of sheer weightlessness in mid-fall had punched her stomach into her throat and the sudden rush of sickness made her feel as though she had blacked out for a few seconds. The overall shock and the initial adrenaline rush had yet to leave her system, so she still felt light-headed and weak; her limbs were still trembling despite her best attempts to calm herself.

Even now, nearly half an hour later, she still had no clue how the hell she managed to survive that drop.

The lingering adrenaline and her shot nerves made it difficult to focus on the accident; her head was still a mess of blurred memories and panic.

When the bus crashed into the hotel, she remembered smashing her head on the steering wheel and nearly blacking out from the force alone. But the hot pain kept her conscious enough to realize what was happening- although, she still didn't have enough time to formulate a safer plan. Through sheer instinct, she remembered jumping just as the bus went down and managed to land on a partly destroyed fire escape clinging to the front of the hotel. She recalled watching the bus hit the street and gasping as the engine erupted into flames, almost immediately consuming the front of the bus.

If she hadn't jumped... what was left of her would've been eaten alive by the fire.

She must've passed out for a few seconds, but was ripped back into consciousness as the fire escape collapsed underneath her and dropped her nearly a story and a half to the ruined street. The grated platform broke most of her fall and kept her from being horribly impaled on a few support beams that littered the street.

She could still hear herself almost screaming out curses as the slightest movement sent hot, agonizing pain through her body. She had fought like hell to get this far- and the prospect of her dying in a fucking bus had been far too close to becoming a reality. There were all sorts of fucked up things in this world, all sorts of fucked up traps, and she almost died behind the wheel. What a shitty way to have died.

But the adrenaline had assured her that, despite the lingering numbness, all of her limbs were still attached.

And the pain reminded her that she was still alive.

It was agonizing, but she could still move and, even with the shaking of her legs, she could still walk as well.

...

She couldn't remember the last time she had been scared like that...

This whole ordeal, this whole world was one big hellhole designed to scare them shitless, but that... that crash took the crown. For now anyways. Because she knew there would be more to come, there would be worst to come. This was not the ending...

She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the rain- hoping the sound of it would bring her some comfort. It had been raining in Krimson City before they left; she remembered cursing on her drive to the precinct, realizing her choice of footwear wasn't the best to be paired with rain. But she had sucked it up and dealt with it, even though she had nearly slipped once or twice getting out of the car.

Thankfully no one saw her when it happened.

And if someone did, then they kept quiet about it.

A soft groan drew her back into the cold reality of the STEM world.

Opening her eyes, she watched him as he briefly shifted to try and take the pressure off of his wounded side, before he fell still again. She was seated against a partly destroyed wall, using it as a support for her ailing back, while she had laid him down next to her; his head resting against her upper leg. She had hoped that the slight incline would keep the blood from settling in the back of his throat.

For what it was worth, with everything that had happened, she came out of that ordeal in decent health.

Her partner on the other hand...

He had just gotten shot barely forty minutes ago- and he had bled out for nearly fifteen minutes before they were able to give him minor medical attention at best. And instead of getting the rest he desperately needed... he had to survive a near-immediate bus crash.

She remembered the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach when she saw his motionless body not all that far from where she had landed. In the back of her mind, she swore there was no way he had survived. She didn't... she didn't want to see what had become of him, but she also had to know; at the very least, she had to have closure for him. Her hands were visibly shaking when she rolled him onto his back and she tried to focus on the pain in her spine to offset whatever emotional reaction might come up.

There was blood covering almost half of his face and spilling out of his mouth and nose. His white shirt was torn and bloody from where the wreck had covered his arms in different scrapes and cuts. His gunshot injury had ripped open again and there was already blood pooling out underneath him...

She had thought it was shitty to die behind the wheel of a hell bound bus, but... he would die bleeding out in the ruined streets of this fake Krimson City.

But he didn't.

He had been just barely conscious- the fresh pain had kept his mind from shutting off.

His voice had came out in struggling, bloodied words, but he was still breathing- and more importantly, still fighting. And he was conscious enough to know that they needed to get off the street before any of the Haunted found them. In their combined state, they would be no match against even the weakest of the Haunted. And there was no way in Hell she was going to let them die like that- not after just surviving the Heresy, two ambushes and that fucking crash.

She guessed Sebastian had either jumped or had gotten knocked off at a different floor, because he wasn't anywhere with them. She did her best to look and she tried to wait, but... she didn't want to risk it.

They couldn't...

They were bait the longer they stayed out in the open.

She knew Sebastian would never leave Joseph like this- not willingly.

And she knew the older Detective would be worrying himself sick trying to find him...

She wished she knew where he was. Even if they were separated, at the very least she could tell him that they were alive and that she would keep an eye on Joseph until he could regroup with them. But... she couldn't.

Unfortunately, the front of the hotel had been utterly destroyed in the arranging of the new cityscape- and the burning bus didn't help. But, somehow, the two of them had managed to climb some of the debris up to the second floor. It wasn't an ideal location, but it was off the streets and out of immediate sight, so it would have to do for now. There were very few places they would be able to make it to with their combined injuries anyways...

Joseph had been on the verge of finally passing out by the time they reached the ruins of the second floor, so she had set him down in the hallway and left to check the area over. Most of the rooms had been ruined or were locked. She could only find two accessible paths into the corridor: one was by using the same debris they had climbed on and the second was a wrecked staircase well within view. It wasn't the most secured location, but... if anything, she would be able to see or hear anything that might try to stumble upon them.

But if something did...

It wasn't like she had a lot of ammo left over from the bus extravaganza.

And he certainly didn't have the strength to keep moving.

... They would be fine.

She just had to believe that.

She remembered sitting with him before she left to investigate and trying to keep him awake at least long enough for her to return; she didn't want him losing consciousness while she was gone- even if it was for a short amount of time. But his body was exhausted from the blood loss and the continuous stress from the past hour alone. She made him promise her that if he was going to pass out, then he would have to wake up again.

She didn't think he could keep his end of that promise, but so far... he was trying.

She watched him for a short while, first to make sure he was still breathing, but also to take her mind off of the inescapable situation they were currently stuck in.

He was still breathing fast and there were beads of sweat collecting on his brow; he was sickly pale from the blood loss, but his skin was hot to the touch. She tried to keep him comfortable in some sense and had loosened his tie and unbuttoned part of his collar- although she was certain he'd be irritated with her for it later. His glasses had somehow not been obliterated in the wreck, although she did find them a few feet from where he had landed. One of the lens was shattered for the most part, but... they were still useable. She had carefully slipped them off and clipped them to his vest for safe keeping. Most of the blood that had covered his face had been messily wiped away with her hand and then wiped off on her torn jeans.

He kept one hand tightly pressed over his right side, as though he too was praying the injury hadn't been ripped too badly in the wreck. But she knew it had been... there was already blood staining the carpet underneath him. His other hand, however, held on to his left arm; judging by how tightly he was holding it, there was a possibility it had been broken during the crash.

As optimistic as it would come across, it was a good thing.

He could've broken a leg or his spine in that fall... so an arm was almost good news.

Hell, they both could've broken their necks and died out there. Or lingered around just long enough to feel the Haunted rip them apart.

She was certain she had all kinds of broken bones underneath her ripped skin and torn muscles. Her entire body ached as she was coming off of the adrenaline rush, so it was difficult to pinpoint the exact locations of pain. It felt like her entire body was just waiting to cave in on itself.

It didn't matter...

Because, for now, they were alive.

She reached over and gently rested her hand on his chest, feeling the steady way it rose and fell in quick succession. His heart was still racing and when she brushed her fingers over his clenched hand, she could feel his body trembling.

...

Part of her knew that she didn't have to be here.

She could get up and walk away- in fact, she knew that she should've. Despite the pain she was in, she wasn't crippled or disabled, so she had no excuse to not follow through with her orders.

She had her own mission she needed to do, that she needed to complete… and it didn't involve him living to the end...

After all, he would never know that she was even here- the blood loss would make it difficult for him to keep his memories straight. He could claim she was here, but then he would question whether it was here or on the bus that he was thinking of. And by the time he settled on the right answer, she would be long gone. If anything, she should've hoped that he didn't wake up; it would be one less witness after all.

But she couldn't bring herself to do it.

The thought of doing something like that wasn't even pleasant to consider.

After everything he had done for her… she couldn't just leave him here, not like this- not when he needed her the most. At the very least, he deserved that much.

She cupped her hand gently against his bruising jawline and felt the way he briefly turned into her touch.

She didn't get attached during these kinds of assignments- no matter the length of time. Her work was dirty and never had happy endings, so the last thing she needed was for something to get in the way, for something to get unnecessarily complicated. And she had no intentions of changing that, not even now... After all, things had been working out for her so far, so there was no use in ruining it.

...

But he made it very tempting to.

All of her former assignments had been quick to be done and over with- this was the first, long term one she had to serve. The extended working times were needed to avoid suspicion and she didn't necessarily mind slipping into the new job position; a quick alter to her resume and records made her qualified for any field position really. She didn't know if she would say she enjoyed the Detective business- although she did more watching than participating. But her co-workers made the usual dull job seem half-heartingly entertaining.

She learned a pretty valuable lesson from this assignment though...

Attachment was harder to avoid than she had previously thought.

It had always been easy for her to sever her ties and disappear without a trace; she had done so, so many times that it just felt natural for her. But this time around... she let her guard down. It felt like she was simply watching from a distance, so to speak, and in believing so, she failed to watch her step. She got wrapped up in business that wasn't hers and didn't pertain to the mission at hand; she got wrapped up in relationships that sparked over cold coffee and frustrating reports.

She got wrapped up in him...

It was a one-time thing.

It had happened after a stressful day. They were both pretty emotionally drained and... he was so vulnerable.

It started out innocently enough, but they kept pushing it and pushing it until they were ignoring all the signs to stop.

At the time, in that moment, it was just something that they both needed.

...

It had been a mistake, she knew that, and she had absolutely no intentions of continuing it. If the situation was different, then maybe, but... not now, not like this. Not when she was at the very center of this entire nightmare that was raining down around them. Not when she had all of this planned from the start...

She was having a hard enough time dealing with her betrayal. She hadn't expected that she would create such a bond with them; she had never stayed long enough to get attached or bond before, but now she could assure herself why it was such a terrible idea. Beforehand, she was just doing what needed to be done to try and solve this nightmare- to try and bring it to an end. It was a necessity and anyone who got caught in it and failed to survive were simply aiding in its progress towards success. This process carried a great cost with it and everyone who participated, unwillingly or not, were helping to slowly pay it off.

But they were just two innocent people who unfortunately got caught up in this nightmare trap.

Two people who had enough to deal with without this on top of it all.

That was why she had to do her job and finish this.

Because maybe... maybe she could still save them. It certainly wouldn't make up for what she was putting them through now, but it was a decent start. She had put them in here, in STEM, the least she could do was get them out the only way she knew how.

She closed her eyes again and tried to focus on the rain once more. The adrenaline had finally worn off and had exposed her to the exhausted, painful ache of her body and tired mind. Her head was still pounding and she could feel the heaviness in her limbs now. She could feel the constant throbbing of where her upper lip had been split open from the steering wheel and how the blood had dried all the way down her chin- despite her having wiped the blood away several times before.

She would only rest for a few minutes...

...

The sound of light coughing woke her up and the slight daze she was in let her know that she had been out for far more than just a few, short minutes. She silently cursed herself for falling asleep instead- shitty health or not. If something had managed to find them and came storming down the hallway... there was no way either of them would've survived. Still, she straighten herself out and tried to appear more alert than she felt.

She watched him briefly cover his mouth until the short fit was over with before he carefully wiped the fresh blood from his lips. It was easy to see how his hand was still shaking and how he tried to control it by clenching his fingers together.

"How long have I been out?" Joseph whispered. His voice was rough and hoarse when he spoke, and it was easy to hear the lingering exhaustion in his tone. But it was better than piecing words together between the blood and struggled wheezing.

She didn't know the exact timing since she had passed out just the same, but she decided it would probably be best to aim low for now. "Half an hour." Kidman answered, as she watched him move briefly to reset the aching of his body before the pain seemed to stop him. "... We're not going anywhere any time soon though."

A dry, partly half-forced laugh escaped him. "You and I must be in different worlds right now..."

How true that was.

"... Where's Sebastian?"

Somehow she figured that question was eventually going to come up... she just wished she had a better answer for him. Or an answer overall. Instead, she sighed and tried to brush her wet bangs from her face, just now realizing the layer of sweat that had collected on her skin. "I don't know." she started, as she gave a short shrug. "I guess he got knocked off on one of the higher floors. I tried looking for him, but... there's nothing out there."

"Of course he did." he remarked, hinting that he too was already tired of the shitty antics of this world. His fingers briefly brushed against his chest before he found where she had clipped his glasses to his vest. He held on to them for a few seconds before he let them go, as though figuring it wasn't worth it to slip them on right now. He briefly moved once more; this time it seemed to be for his lower back, but the obvious pain from his still bleeding side kept the movement to a minimum. A short, painful hiss escaped through gritted teeth as he tightly grasped at his wounded side. "... Fuck me."

He had muttered the words under his breath, probably in hopes that she wouldn't hear it- but she did. She just chose not to say anything about it.

It was easy to see how frustrated he was with his injury. They had all made it this far after going through who knows how many different places and surviving who knows what. And from what Sebastian had briefly told her, he was on the recovering side of being affected; he had, for now, fought off and survived the Haunted process- which was clearly no easy feat.

He had survived everything up to this point, only to be downed by a single bullet.

Getting shot was certainly on its own level and the pain from it alone had left him fighting to keep conscious for the rest of the ride. But he had fought through it, possibly more for Sebastian's sake than his own. And if they could've left it at that, then he would've been, in a lack of better words, fine.

It was the bus wreck that did him in...

She knew the pain would be too much for him.

He could barely move, let alone walk around in this wreckage...

"... Are you alright?" Joseph asked.

Kidman almost wanted to laugh at the question. He was practically bleeding to death, and if the blood loss didn't kill him, then the pain would... and yet, he was still concerned for her. Her fingers briefly touched at the dried blood on her temple, feeling where the skin had split clean open from the steering wheel. "Well, given the situation, I'm fine." she answered. "I busted my head pretty hard on the steering wheel, but... I'm starting to see colors again."

It was good to hear him give a more genuine laugh this time.

At least until it turned into another, under the breath curse.

"Christ, it actually hurts to laugh." he remarked, one hand briefly clutching as his chest. "Although, I'm curious, how the hell did you survive that fall?"

"I'm more concerned with how the hell you did." Kidman replied, and judging by the way he barely shook his head, he didn't know either. A quiet sigh escaped her as she gingerly brushed her fingers through his hair- although she did notice that he briefly wrinkled his nose at the motion. "... It seems pretty obvious, but how are you feeling?"

The fact that he didn't immediately answer seemed to tell her everything she needed to know.

Still, Joseph gave a brief sigh and removed his hand from his side, exposing the slick coating of blood on his glove. "Well... I can go ahead and tell you that I don't necessarily have high hopes for myself."

His response felt like a punch to the gut.

She knew well he wouldn't say such a thing as an exaggeration, so it only meant that he was fully aware of the extent of his injuries... and the limitations of his body. It was easier to accept such a possibility when it was just a mere thought coming from her head, but when he actually agreed, then it was different. It wasn't impossible; he could still survive this, but... only if they didn't run into a single thing from here on out. And that was the impossible part.

Kidman moved to rest her hand on his chest now, at least satisfied that his breathing had slowed down. "You'll be alright." she started to assure, although she knew well that he would see right through it. "... We can afford to sit around for a little longer. Neither of us are in the best of conditions to move right now."

"I appreciate the sentiment." he replied, as his fingers briefly toyed with her own before he covered her hand with his. "It's okay though."

"Don't talk like that." she objected.

She was not going to lose him... Not when there was still the possibility of her saving the both of them.

There was a brief pause.

"... Sorry."

Closing her eyes, she leaned her head against the wall behind her and slipped her fingers between his. "We should look for Sebastian as soon as we can." she guessed she was hoping that she could use the other man as an initiative to get him motivated; to take his mind off the possibility that he could die here. "He's an old man, you know. There's no telling what that wreck did to him."

She was worried about Sebastian though.

Against all odds, the older Detective had survived in decent health up to this point, so she highly doubted a wreck could do much to him. After all, he had gone head to head with that chain gun truck beforehand, so it was hard to believe that a wreck like this would even phase him. But, he was still human and still very susceptible to pain and injury.

"... You should really try to find him."

Without saying anything else, she knew exactly what he was suggesting.

And she knew that, at the very least, he was giving her an honest way out. He was giving her an opportunity to step away from this and, unknowingly, get back on track with her real assignment here. It was the same damn thing she had thought about before, just... she could leave with a semi-clear conscious because it would be because he wanted her to; because he gave her permission to.

It was reckless, but... she couldn't make herself do it.

And she knew she would pay for it in the end, but she just couldn't...

"I hope you're not suggesting what I think you're suggesting." Kidman started, trying to keep her voice from shaking. Her fingers instinctively tightened against his. "Besides, do you know how fucking pissed Sebastian'll be if I show up without you?"

"He'll get over it."

No. No, he wouldn't.

The man had suffered enough in his lifetime; the last thing he needed was to lose someone else. And while she was sure that her connection to this situation would eventually come up and she was certain that it would hurt him... It would be a different kind of loss.

But she also knew that Joseph wasn't saying that with ease. After all, it was his own mortality he was considering...

"Sure, when he's done tearing this city apart more than Ruvik already has." she briefly spat- perhaps more angry at this situation than she was aware of. She blamed the returning trembling of her fingertips on the painful twitch in her lower back and the slight quivering of her lips on the raw split that had bloodied them. She felt him briefly squeeze her hand as though he had noticed the shaking despite her best attempts to hide it. "... You're still coming with me, end of discussion."

Her tone was firm- perhaps more than she had meant it to be.

She wasn't ignoring the situation; she wasn't pretending that it wasn't as bad as it was... She knew damn well that his chances of surviving from this point on were low, but she was going to do whatever she had to to keep him going.

She just wanted to ask him to fight a little longer, and maybe that was selfish, but she hadn't given up yet.

She could still win this.

Joseph didn't immediately answer her and she dared to peek at him out of concern.

There were already dark rings forming underneath his eyes as it seemed to be taking every ounce of strength for him to keep himself conscious, to keep himself alive. It felt like her stomach dropped as she tried to fight off the notion that she was just being selfish and... that maybe she should give in to what could be his last request. He wasn't stupid, she knew that; he wasn't one to lie to himself or try to paint a situation in a better picture. His sometimes stark sense of reality was what drew her to him in the first place. And she knew, in a situation like this, that he wouldn't be wrong about how things should go.

"I guess if I have to." he finally admitted, breaking the tense silence she had engulfed herself in. His tone didn't sound dead, or forced like she had dreaded; instead, he managed a light, almost teasing tone as though she was asking to drag him some place boring and he had finally submitted to it- just for her.

His words didn't solve the situation, it didn't magically make any of it better.

It just meant that he would fight a little longer, at least for her sake.

Her fingers tightly curled against his own as she tried to still the relieved shaking inside of her. She turned her head briefly so he wouldn't see her blinking away at the tears in her eyes.

"They'll have to drag me away from you, you know." she spoke, as she gently moved her hand to his jaw once more.

He managed to suffer through a soft chuckle at her words. "You may end up getting yourself killed, but... I admire the tenacity."


End file.
